The Brickbat

Hudson Plane Landing Tapes Released

Posted on 05. Feb, 2009 by Dan.

The tapes from the plane that landed in the Hudson were released today. This just shows how bad ass the pilot is.

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Rickey Henderson Hall of Fame Speech

Posted on 28. Jan, 2009 by Sean.

Through a trusted source, The Brickbat was able to obtain a first draft, inscribed on a cocktail napkin, of Rickey Henderson’s Hall of Fame induction speech.  Enjoy!

Hello friends, family and fans of Rickey Henderson.  Rickey Henderson is pleased you are here today to bask in the glory and the splendor that is Rickey Henderson.

Rickey Henderson was born on Dec 25th, 1958.  And like Jesus – Rickey Henderson did many miraculous things in his life.  While Jesus worked his miracles in the dessert, Rickey Henderson worked them on a baseball diamond.  Sure, Jesus may have turned water into wine and healed lepers, but did he ever steal 130 bases in a season?  Nuh uh.  Rickey Henderson did.  Did Jesus ever hit 81 lead off homeruns?  Nope.  Rickey Henderson did.  Rickey Henderson was electrifying and dynamic.  And in his prime, Rickey Henderson was so fast that he could have run on water, too.

To really understand the Rickey Hendersonifficness that is Rickey Henderson, one must focus on the Rickey Hendersonivity of Rickey Henderson.  There have been many Rickeys and many Hendersons, but there has only been one Rickey Henderson.

Who can even approach the sheer, mind boggling awesomeness that encompassed Rickey Henderson?  Has anyone ever existed in the history of the universe that is greater than Rickey Henderson?  I can think of not a single person.  So I say, “Put Rickey Henderson’s face on Mount Rushmore!”  None of them cats could wreak havoc on the base paths like Rickey Henderson done did.  George Washington, with them wooden teeth, powdered wig and fancy clothes wouldn’t have intimidated opposing pitchers like Rickey Henderson did with his macho, Adonis-like physique.  Roosevelt, with his impaired vision and glasses wouldn’t have had Rickey Henderson’s keen batting eye which allowed him to walk a whopping 2190 times in his life.  Jefferson was good at scoring with the female slaves on his plantation, but no way my man was good enough to score 2295 times on a baseball diamond, which is how many runs Rickey Henderson scored in his resplendent career.  And you think Abe Lincoln could head-first slide into second base like Rickey Henderson?  Don’t make me laugh.  He was way too tall and gangly and that stove pipe hat would have increased his wind resistance.

On second thought, let us forget Mount Rushmore and instead let us laser engrave Rickey Henderson’s face and lifetime statistics on the moon.  This will serve two purposes – First, little childrens can look up at night and dream of being as great as Rickey Henderson when they grow up (they won’t, but let the childrens have their dreams anyway).  And Second – If aliens ever come to Earth with the plan to invade, one look at the unfathomable statistics accumulated by Rickey Henderson over the course of his Rickey Hendersonalicious career will intimidate them into giving up their foolish quest.  They will be like so many opposing pitchers and catchers who injudiciously thought they could shut down Rickey Henderson’s effervescent running game.

Today Rickey Henderson joins baseball’s immortals.  But I propose we create a new Hall.  A Hall of Rickey Henderson.  This shrine to all things Rickey Henderson will be Rickey Henderson-expyalidosiously Rickey Henderson.  Rickey Henderson needs his own separate shrine in order to house all of his mammoth career statistics.  The Baseball Hall of Fame just doesn’t have the capacity to be Rickey Hedersonified.  Rickey Henderson will, however, settle for a Rickey Henderson wing of the Hall, although Rickey Henderson is not happy about it.

Thank you and thank Rickey Henderson for Rickey Hendersonifying the game of baseball and Rickey Hendersonalitstically Rickey Hendersoning the world we live in.

Oh and if any major league teams need a lead off hitter who can steal 60 bases and jack out 20 home runs a year while getting on base at a .375 clip, Rickey Henderson awaits your phone call.

Peace, love and Rickey Henderson be with you always.

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Welcome to Thebrickbat.com

Posted on 28. Jan, 2009 by Dan.

Hello and Welcome to the Brickbat. If you are reading this its because there is nothing more to read, or because I deleted the site…again.

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